Seeking Words of Wisdom

Final Thoughts...

 Intercultural Communication
is more than communicating with people of a different culture; it is understanding the complexity of the human spirit, appreciating the diversity of God's world, and knowing that every human possesses the desire to be heard and understood...and that every human has the capacity to love.

Galations 5:13-15 NIV "For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: Love your neighbor as yourself."

Martin Luther King, Jr. "We must come to see that human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability.  It comes through the tireless efforts and persistent work of men willing to be coworkers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social injustice." - Letter from Birmingham Jail, 1963.

Mother Teresa "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Living and Loving as Community

Introduction

            Technology and travel has allowed many intercultural opportunities in our workplace, in our schools, in our places of worship—in every interpersonal interaction within our communities.  As our world expands, so must our perspective and acceptance of diversity.  Our ability to be effective and efficient communicators within every cultural context is imperative. “If enough of us are willing to weave webs of connection with others, all our shared hopes for the world can be realized.  Long-standing stereotypes can be dissolved, mistrust can be overcome, understanding can be achieved, people previously at odds can work together on shared objections, new levels of creativity can be reached, and bonds of community can be strengthened” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 32). The following questions and prompts will be explored as this student of intercultural communication transforms to one who lives and communicates better with those around her.

The Destructive Nature of Discrimination

            Indentify and explain the interpersonal, collective, and/or institutional discrimination. Discrimination, which is behaviors stemming from stereotyping, or prejudice, is manifested in the “overt actions to exclude, avoid, or distance oneself from other groups” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 60).  Broken down according to context, discrimination can be interpersonal, displayed in one’s stereotyping, unfair treatment of individuals or group(s), or verbally in derogatory, hate-filled language.  Hate speech displays human discrimination at its worst, intentionally used to “degrade, intimidate or incite violence” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 60).  Interpersonal discrimination can also be non-verbal, as was evident during the turbulent civil rights movement period.  Segregated and banned from “white” public places, blacks, especially in the southern states, suffered great prejudices and injustices.  In the eyes of many, including Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., those who do nothing or say nothing against racism or discrimination help further the injustice. “We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good” (King, 1963, p,. 4). Destructive and detrimental to everyone, discrimination—either verbal or non-verbal, prevents the possibility of forming a positive, intercultural relationship that would benefit individuals and his/her society.

            In the collective or institutional context, discrimination may take place in an informal or formal way, but still denies an individual or group equal rights, or unbiased activity within a collective group or organization.  Workplace discrimination would be an example of collective or institutional discrimination.  In our text, Martin and Nakayama report that in low-wage, entry-level job markets, stereotyping and race discrimination still exist and are considered a huge road block, especially for young black men (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 61).  Affirmative action may not be strictly adhered to, with employers conducting quick applicant screenings, looking for traits that make the applicant seem suited for the job. “Stereotypes among young black men remain so prevalent and so strong that race continues to serve as a major signal of characteristics of which employers are wary” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 61).  While stereotyping does help form distinction and definition in our relationships with others, these false concepts over a period of time are not easily changed.  To eliminate discrimination, overcoming stereotyping is a necessary goal. In order to accomplish that, so we may foster more rewarding intercultural relationships, our goal should be to “work consciously at rejecting them…by utilizing these two steps: 1) recognizing the negative stereotypes, and 2) obtaining individual information that can counteract the stereotype” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 57). 

Pop Culture and Identity

            How do the choices we make about popular culture influence the formation of our cultural identity?  Because “…popular culture plays a very important role in how we understand the world, helping us reinforce our sense of who we are and confirming our worldviews” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 200), our identities are greatly formed and influenced by popular culture.  Traditionally, popular culture has been defined as being forms of media such as film, television, videos, and magazines.  With the introduction and growth of the internet, social media web sites, and digital and mobile devices, today’s pop culture has not only expanded in definition, but in its global implications and shared identities!  Americans’ identity, for instance, is no longer bound by a geographical border.  The daily choices we make in what we wear, what car we drive, which television show to watch, what music we listen to, etc., do form and shape our identity as individuals, but also collectively reflect our identity as an “American.”  The culture we as Americans consider “popular” is then associated with the American identity, especially by other cultures and by other countries. “Today American goods and services such as McDonald’s and Levi’s have much appeal to ordinary people in Russia and China, because of their strong  connotations of “freedom,” “casualness,” and “non-restrictiveness,” and more generally positive fantasies about the “American Way of Life”” (Van Elteren, 1996, p. 72). 

            Popular culture can form an identity for countries and individuals according to what is popular in today’s culture, but also can serve as an identity regardless if the time is now or in the past.  In the movie, “Gran Torino,” Clint Eastwood’s character, Walt, was defined by popular culture from an era with which he identified.  Popular culture that clearly gave Walt his identity included his Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, his old push-blade lawn mower, and especially his most prized possession, his 1972 Gran Torino. “To Walt, the Ford beauty represents what was, what was great, and the culture of both his and the car’s heyday” (Tekulve, 2012, p. 4). Our popular culture choices—those things we embrace and those we reject—form our identity and communicate to others what is important and valuable in our lives.

Intercultural Communication Conflict and Attitude

            How might attitudes toward work lead to intercultural communication conflict?  With the workplace being the most likely place to encounter cultural differences, conflict is inevitable, with a person’s attitude being a small portion of the underlying reasons for conflict.  Attitudes and behaviors regarding a person’s work ethic and culture are directly related to his/her ethnic background, beliefs, and values.  For instance, the U.S. culture is considered individualistic—placing emphasis on the importance of individual job performance and responsibilities (Martin & Nakayama, 2011 p. 312).  In the Japanese collectivist work culture, however, “organizations do not necessarily define the precise job responsibilities assigned to each individual; rather, it’s the job of a work unit, a section, or a department” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 312).  These differences can be a challenge to both the workers and to management.

            Another cultural difference in attitude that affects the workplace is the concept of time. Many international business negotiations could suffer or even fall apart if the conflict of time orientation is not approached and addressed.  Polychronic orientation, which views time with a less constrictive, precise beginning and end manner, is the attitude of many European countries and businesses (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 182).  Monochronic orientation, which the U.S. adheres to, views times “as a commodity: Time can be gained, lost, spent, or wasted” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 182).  Misunderstandings between people with different attitudes and concepts of time, what is appropriate business etiquette, styles of communication (direct or indirect), gender roles in business, and political and/or economical implications can be significant intercultural hurdles.  The best attitude for anyone to employ in the workplace is the attitude of respect.

Savvy Intercultural Communication

            Describe your plan to become more inter-culturally savvy in communication.  “Hearing about the experiences of people who are different from you can lead to different ways of viewing the world” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 23).  For me, the most important element of communication is not speaking, but in listening. So, as I consider the ways I might improve my intercultural communication skills, my observations—taking in the verbal and non-verbal cues and my surroundings—before speaking will become even more important. Being receptive and respectful of other people’s cultures is important, no matter what the situation, place, or culture.  “The effective intercultural communicator, sensitive to the other person, listens carefully before speaking.  He or she hears the message from the other person, considers it, then reconsiders it, trying on different possible interpretations—trying to understand the speaker’s possible intent” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 23).

            Being savvy in communication with other cultures also requires engaging in mindful and meaningful communication by considering the personal and cultural history that has been his/her influence,  and by wearing a different “lens” of perspective to understand his/her view of the world we both share.  The lens model of perspective specifies that we each have a view of ourselves, the other person, and the relationship (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 56).  Learning to look at the world differently requires that I step beyond my normal, beyond my comfort zone.  “Changing our usual behavior, learning to “do what comes unnaturally,” requires an examination of one’s most deeply held values and spiritual beliefs…If people are to survive and thrive, working together is not an option but a necessity” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 32).  Taking on this new perspective and applying it in my everyday intercultural interactions will equip me for mindful communication, meaningful relationships, and opportunities in becoming an advocate for other culture’s voices to be heard, understood, respected, and accepted.

Bridging the Communication Gaps

            Is it possible for two people to communicate effectively if they don’t speak the same language? How?  “Growing trends towards globalization of U.S. firms and immigration to the United States absolutely make body language more important as a universal language” (Shepherd, 2007, p. 1).  Non-verbal cues such as eye contact, facial expression, and gestures—forms of body language—not only reinforce a person’s verbal language, but can act as communicators by themselves.  If I found myself unable to understand what a person was speaking, body language would help us communicate with each other. Simple gestures understood in the U.S. such as a handshake, a wink, maintaining eye contact, and even a kiss, however, can take on different meanings in different cultures. “Culture and context are essential to reading body language, just as they are in verbal language.  You cannot hope to read body language well unless you take culture into consideration” (Shepherd, 2007, p. 1). Just as in verbal communication, the importance of observation and being cognizant of the other’s culture is essential to effective communication.

Conclusion

            ^“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself”” (Galatians 5:13-15, NIV).  For me, this Bible verse sums up the very core of intercultural communication.  Our love, compassion and acceptance of others is not exclusive for those we know or understand, those in our own “culture,” but for those who believe different than we believe, whose skin is different than our skin, and whose world views are different than ours.  Whether from another country, or simply from another neighborhood down the street, every human life possesses the same desire to be heard and understood.  It is my hope that I will not only learn to be a better intercultural communicator, but one who also forms meaningful relationships and coalitions with others.  “We must come to see that human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability.  It comes through the tireless efforts and persistent work of men willing to be coworkers with God, and without this hard work time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation” (King, 1963, p. 4).

   . 

References

Galatians 5:13-15.The Bible; New living translation. Bible Gateway.

            http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+5:13-15&version=NLT

King, M. L. (1963, August). The negro is your brother. The Atlantic Monthly, 213(2), 78-88. Retrieved from http://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/letter_birmingham_jail.pdf

Martin, J., & Nakayama, T. (2011). Experiencing intercultural communication: An

            introduction. (4 ed.). New York, NY: The McGraw-Hill Companies.

Shepherd, L. (2007). Reading body language can offer insight to HR pros. Employee

            Benefit News, 21(6), 22.

Tekulve, R. (2012). Gran Torino Film Analysis.  A reflection of cultural conflict and

            redemption, 1-8.

Van Elteren, M. (1996). Conceptualizing the Impact of US Popular Culture Globally. Journal of Popular

            Culture, 30(1), 47-89.

Wilmot, W., & Hocker, J. (2011). Interpersonal conflict. (8 ed.). New York, NY: The

            McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Reaching Out When the Barriers Are Too Great

 This is Rhoda...

 She walked five days to Yida (South Sudan) with some neighbors to join her mother, Sarah, who had arrived earlier. Thankfully, she was safely reunited with her mother, and her 23-day-old sister, Kua. Rhoda’s father is a soldier in Nuba.

Read about the November, 2011 bombing of her refugee camp:

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/articles/support_for_south_sudan_refugees/?utm_campaign=Argyle+Social-2011-11&utm_medium=Argyle+Social&utm_source=General+Use

She received immunization, registered as a refugee, and received food rations from Samaritan’s Purse, an international, Christian disaster relief organization.

I don't know Rhoda, nor will I probably ever meet her.  If I could communicate with her, what would I say, how would I say it?  Would she understand me?  A face with a name, a precious life and child of God--she deserves to be loved, respected, nurtured and protected. 

She and her family live very distant from me--distant in miles and very distant in culture. 

When our compassion cannot reach those in need, when great physical and cultural barriers exist, how do we communicate our hopes, our desires, our love for them?

Click here to see a new report and video about the influx of refugees: http://spsocial.org/Bff

A Shared Multicultural and Authentic Afternoon

 Our small community has become multicultural and quite diverse in the last ten years, thanks to those who have lovingly shared their ethnic foods with us.
And thanks also goes out to my son who will be 18 in a few weeks. Because of his big appetite, our family has enjoyed restaurants that we may not have been "brave" to try otherwise!  Although my husband is not fond of Mexican cuisine, he will indulge the rest of us and treat us out at our favorite authentic Mexican restaurant, El Nopal.

  Just a few weeks ago when school had let out for the summer, our son and I went clothes shopping. (This 18-year old who loves to eat also tends to grow...)  I looked at my watch and realized it was almost noon, and knew this big kid was getting hungry.  As if he read my mind, he said, "You  know what really sounds good?  Mexican food...You want to go to El Nopal?"  With dad not there to object, I agreed.  You never seen a kid smile so big so fast...

Our mother-son outting turned out to be quite a fun afternoon.  As we ate our free chips and salsa before our entrees arrived, we laughed (quite loudly) as we talked about band camp, his senior year at high school, what colleges he likes best so far...and even exchanged a few "that's what she said" jokes.  We laughed and we ate...and ate, and...ate.  By the time we were finished, neither of us wanted to drive home, for fear we'd fall asleep at the wheel...A genuine Mexican fiesta followed by a food-induced siesta!

I've thought about that afternoon quite often, realizing that our fun could have been at any restaurant, but the ethnic atmosphere, the hospitality, and the authentic food helped make it even more special.  We shared our love of Mexican food together, but more importantly, we shared time together.  Moms and dads: you need to share more time with your children, for soon, they will be in high school, driving, thinking about college and growing out of their clothes.  Soon comes all too soon...

Thanks, El Nopal, for allowing us to enjoy an authentic afternoon.

By His Stripes, We Are Healed--Faith and Modern Medicine

  In our discussion on culture and modern medicine this week, some conversations and thoughts swayed to those who refuse modern medicine--
either because their culture is unaware of the science behind the medicine, or because their culture is aware of the science behind the medicine, and claim their Christian faith alone can heal.

I was already aware of certain religions that prohibit any use of modern medicine, doctors, hospitals, etc., but my opinion of their beliefs stemmed from the "secular world" perspective, and not as a Christian.  Though I do not believe our loving God, our Father, would want want us, his children, to suffer needlessly, I do wonder if we as "modern Christians" put more faith in modern medicine than we do in God's immeasurable strength and power as our Healer...

If we cut our finger, most of us reach for a Band-aid and an antiseptic.  When we have a sore throat, we reach for throat lozenges, pain relievers, vitamin C supplements, or gargle with warm salt water, and know to call a doctor "if the pain persists."  If a Christian, when do we stop and pray for healing during our "reaching process?"  Have we forgot how to reach out to God?  Do leave God out of our small pain, cuts, and bruises, and only invite him to take over when a big illness or disease attacks us? 

Were our mothers only concerned about our broken legs and high fevers when we were young? or did they kiss our small cuts and boo-boos, too?

As a Christian, I believe God desires to be there for us, no matter how small our boo-boo, or how big the disease, as in the big "C."  Our ignorance of His healing power is on the brink of becoming equal to the cultures who are ignorant of medicine's healing power.

Should I suffer a sore throat or cut this week, I will still reach for the medicine cabinet.  But, with this renewed perspective of what my God can do, I will reach for His loving hand and healing touch for my ultimate healing.

Ten Days, Seven Years Ago...

(Schloss Neuschwanstein, with daughter, Katie) 

The title sounds like the beginning of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address...

But no, I was actually referring to my "Germany in Ten Days" EF Tours trip in July of 2005.  I can't believe it will be seven years!  I know years from now I will still reflect on my trip and say, "I can't believe it's been 20 years..."  Hopefully, I will remember the wonderful time I had there, the people I met, the experiences I had--the history, the scenery, the food and most of all, the rich culture of Deutschland itself.

While there, I never really saw myself as a tourist, though I'm sure I was identified as one as I walked the cobble streets of Heidelberg... 

 

I'm sure my slow, somber walk through the halls of the Dachau "Work Camp" memorial gave me away...

My constant companion--my camera, was surely a sign that I was not from wherever it was I was visiting...

And, I'm almost positive my bus and U-Bahn travel companions were aware that I must be just passing through...

But I didn't feel like a tourist.  I felt like I was home.

I know that sounds strange, but Germany and I had a strong connection, a bond, an immediate friendship that will last a lifetime. When I arrived back home in the states, I felt "homesick."  I felt like turning around and driving back to the airport to board a plane that would whisk me away as quick as I could say "schnell!"  While I'm sure there MUST be some name for this "syndrome," I know the fondness I had and still do, is largely attributed to attaining a personal goal of traveling to the country of my ancestry. 

I did it.

I was actually there!

Someday, I hope to return to Germany and become more "intimate" by visiting areas specific to my heritage.  Until then, I will look at my photos, watch the videos, and recall the time in 2005, I toured Germany in ten days...

It seems like a lifetime ago...or was it?

Gran Torino Analysis- A Reflection on Cultural Conflict and Redemption

Introduction

            The 2008 movie “Gran Torino” starring Clint Eastwood is filled with an abundance of cultural diversity, which is met with much resistance, stereotype, and prejudice by the movies’ main character, Walt Kowalski. Walt’s world is changing; his wife dies, his Detroit neighborhood is decaying, his relationship with his sons is distant, and his Korean War memories continue to destroy his ability to fully enjoy life. Through an unlikely bond with the Hmong children next door, Walt finally receives redemption by coming face-to-face with the same destructive prejudices consuming neighborhood teenage gang members that have consumed him. By analyzing this complex and stirring portrayal of intercultural conflict, one can apply the movie’s message to better reflect on and redeem their own lives

Identity Crisis

            After the funeral service for Walt’s wife Dorothy, young Father Janovich informs Walt of some promises he made to Dorothy—that he would look after Walt, and make sure he goes to confession.  In the scene, “I confess,” Walt and the Father do not see eye-to-eye on these promises the Father intends to keep.  Not only does Walt mock the priest with his on-the-spot confession that he “never really cared much for church…and I only went because of her” (Eastwood, 2008), but Walt further insults him by saying he wouldn’t confess to a boy just out of seminary.

            The obvious cultural differences of identity, specifically age and religion, cloud both Walt’s and the Father’s perception of each other.  Their cultures are stark in contrast, which makes for difficult conversation. “(And) our communication is probably most successful when the person we are talking with confirms the identity we think is most important at the moment” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 92)  Clearly, Walt does not think Father Janovich is credible due to his age and his religious culture of Catholicism, therefore, his dedication to his deceased wife carries no weight. Though the Father’s religious culture/beliefs makes him more tolerant and less critical of Walt’s insulting behavior, he is unable to understand how a supposedly grieving husband could deny his wife her last wish.

Language Barriers

            Language is cultural, but it is not always defined entirely by ethnicity or race. The impact of one’s own generation, family histories, society, and values impacts the culture of language. “Even when people speak the same language, there can be differences in communication style and language use” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 150). One can assume that Walt’s racial, prejudiced, and stereotyped view of the world reflects his generation, his military career and involvement in the Korean War, and his factory environment at the Ford plant.  His culture of language, albeit offensive, creates a cultural divide within his own family. Though he and his family speak the same language, their inability to communicate inter-culturally creates dysfunction, as shown in the scene “Unhappy Birthday.”

            Walt’s oldest son and his wife bring birthday gifts for Walt they think are thoughtful and will make Walt’s life “easier.” Entirely out of touch with Walt and his goals and values, the gifts and retirement home suggestions are rejected, as is their presence. “No one can say we didn’t try” (Eastwood, 2008), but the audience knows better.  Had they been more perceptive years ago about Walt’s communication/language culture, their presence would have been the best gift of all.  “Our perspective, our “lens”—that is, how we view life and others, is unique. Taking all that into consideration when interpersonal conflict occurs, we need to “make more accurate attributions and meaning of others’ behavior, we need to translate, interpret, and become fluent in several different “conflict dialects”” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 68).

            A similar cultural conflict within family resulting from “language barriers” takes place in “Chill with Us,” when Tao Vang Lor is confronted by a Mexican gang while walking on the streets near his home.  Tao’s cousin and his fellow Hmong gang members come to his rescue, insisting Tao ride with them as repayment.  Tao understands his cousin—in both English and Chinese, but their cultures are extremely different.  Tao does not “understand” his cousin’s gang culture, and therefore, does not understand the value in his words, “Chill with us, man” (Eastwood, 2008). “Value conflict, a more serious type, occurs when people have differing ideologies” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 228).  In addition, “values are deeply felt beliefs that are shared by a cultural group” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 41), and Tao did not see the value in his cousin’s words, or his gang culture. 

Cars, Music and Beer

            Most popular culture is thought to be media-based, such as the “media outlets of television, music, videos, and magazines that most of us know and share” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 201).  While this is true, there are many other forms of popular culture.  Cars are an important pop culture symbol, in that they symbolize “how we understand the world, helping us reinforce our sense of who we are and confirming our worldviews” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, 200).  In the movie, “Gran Torino,” the actual Gran Torino in the film serves two popular cultures—representing Walt’s 1972 culture, and the current Hmong gang culture.  To Walt, the Ford beauty represents what was, what was great, and the culture of both his and the car’s heyday.  “Ain’t she sweet” (Eastwood, 2008) comments Walt about his prized possession.  Seen as a possession they would like to have, the gang members agree, “Yo, it’s in mint condition, man” (Eastwood, 2008). 

            The white Honda driven by the Hmong gang is also a form of popular culture.  Modified, spoiler on the back, complete with a boom box, the gang’s identity and power is exemplified in everything the car provides them.  “To be made into popular culture, a commodity must also bear the interests of the people” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 202).  The car’s boom box could be considered a separate popular culture, as well as the hip-hop/rap music the gang plays.  Hip-hop or rap music stereotypically contains obscene language, promoting violence and crime.  “Gran Torino” does not stray from this stereotype and the music heard booming from the gang’s car portrays what is popular with gangs and therefore, is considered part of this Hmong gang’s popular culture.

            Consumables are a form of popular culture, reflecting status, personal taste, and culture.  The brand of beer a person drinks is considered a popular culture symbol of their social and economic class.  Walt’s preference for Pabst Blue Ribbon beer tells us that he favors the regional flavor of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and the beer displays his preference for the 1970’s culture once again, as Pabst’s popularity seen its peek during that era.  Later in the movie, Walt’s “popular” preference for Pabst must be replaced with Heineken while at his Hmong neighbor’s house.  But he is fine with their preferred brand, for it is after all, beer. 

The Only True Way

            In real life, “the number of Hmong gangs and the level of their criminal activity is increasing in severity” (Straka, 2003, p. 1).  As was depicted in “Gran Torino,” Hmong gang members in real life use rape to be vindictive toward “their kind” who shuns them (Straka, 2003, p. 1).  The victims rarely come forward, for the gang members are usually family, have guns, and threaten to kill them and/or their families if they go to the police.  There are also cultural reasons why Hmong gangs use this kind of violence; “After the victims were raped, they feared being shunned by members of their families who now would consider them "damaged" or having "shamed" them. This reaction stems from the Hmong culture, which values virginity before marriage. If a girl is raped, others in the Hmong community may look down on her” (Straka, 2003, p. 1).  Reflecting on these real-life statistics is important when considering the alternatives to resolving the violent conflict in “Gran Torino.” 

            To engage in effective intercultural communication, one needs to “fully understand intercultural conflict…we need to look beyond individuals who may be in conflict” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 238).  The social, political, economic and cultural forces that are “beyond” those individuals are powerful and resistant to change, and Walt knew that. He had lived a life resistant to change. He also knew he spoke the gang members’ language—violence, and could “communicate” on their level.  Exploring other, less violent communication alternatives to create a constructive rather than destructive end to the conflict could have been carried out had Walt and his Hmong neighbors joined forces to confront the gang. (He was, after all, considered a “hero.”)

            Perhaps strength in numbers would have been the answer—the gang confronted, caught, and contained by a different kind of gang—a peaceful gang, their neighbors “ganging” up on them. For any kind of social change to occur, there needs to be a social movement. “…social movements need confrontation to highlight whatever perceived injustice is being done and to open the way for social change to halt the continuation of this injustice” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 240).  Walt was successful in his non-violent communication with the gang in the end, the gang was caught, and Tao and Sue were safe. But did real, lasting social change occur because of Walt’s one-man efforts?

Final Analysis and Conclusion

            “In the Chinese language the character for conflict is made up of two different symbols: one indicates danger whereas the other indicates opportunity” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 9).  How fitting that is, given the Chinese/Hmong cultural theme of “Gran Torino” and that the movie represented both!  Violence and offensive language are rarely contents I look for in a good movie, but this movie proved to be an exception.  I was able to look past the guns, the violence, the vulgar language (and the bad acting) and view the movie with a different perspective—which is what we are called to do when in an interpersonal, intercultural conflict.  The characters well-developed portrayal of real-life Hmong gangs specific to the northern lake states such as Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota helped give more meaning to the film’s message.  

            A peacemaker by nature, wanting everyone to “get along,” I identified with Sue’s character the most.  She was the unassuming, brave, and a kind spirit who helped Walt on his journey back to knowing more about life, rather than knowing more about death. She was the bridge for many cultural and communication gaps. Walt’s character needing redemption—from violence, from killing Koreans, from stereotype, from hatred, from bad choices—from his “sin,” was brought about in the most unlikely, yet perfect way.  Though I don’t believe violence is ever the answer, the non-violent, violent ending, symbolic of the ultimate sacrifice for “sin,” was the most appropriate ending. As I watched the ending credits roll down my laptop’s screen, tears also rolled down my cheeks.  

References

Eastwood, C. (Director) (2008). Gran torino [DVD].

Martin, J., & Nakayama, T. (2011). Experiencing intercultural communication: An

            introduction. (4 ed.). New York, NY: The McGraw-Hill Companies.

Straka, R. (2003, February). The violence of hmong gangs and the crime of rape. FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin. Retrieved from http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2194/is_2_72/ai_98253655/?tag=content;col1

Wilmot, W., & Hocker, J. (2011). Interpersonal conflict. (8 ed.). New York, NY: The

            McGraw-Hill Companies, In

Gran Torino's Poignant Theme Song

When I read in the course syllabus that I would be writing an analysis essay on the 2008 Clint Eastwood movie, "Gran Torino," I knew the movie would surely contain violence, guns, and obscene language--and I was right. But as the credits slowly rolled on my laptop's screen last night, the tears also rolled down my cheeks...I was deeply moved by this redemption story.  And just as surprising, the slow-moving, lyrical theme song moved me as well. 

Here are some of the words:

So tenderly your story is
nothing more than what you see
or what you've done or will become
standing strong do you belong
in your skin; just wondering

gentle now a tender breeze blows
whispers through the Gran Torino
whistling another tired song
engines humm and bitter dreams grow
a heart locked in a Gran Torino
it beats a lonely rhythm all night long

Written by: Clint Eastwood, Jamie Cullum, Kyle Eastwood and Michael Stevens.
Performed by: Jamie Cullum and Don Runner.

Gran Review Coming Soon...

 I'm not a fan of violence or abuse--verbal or nonverbal-- in movies.  Regardless, I will be watching this movie and giving my "review" later this week.  Stay tuned...This should be interesting.

The Eyes Have It

Some people believe it was Leonardi DaVinci who once said,
"The eyes are the window to the soul." 

Whether it was DaVinci or not, most people believe that the eyes tell us much about a person.  Eyes also communicate feelings with a single wink, stare, glance, or sneer.  There is no other nonverbal gesture that draws us in like the eyes do!

If a person is unable to "look you in the eyes," we assume that he/she is telling a lie.  If a teenager rolls their eyes, a parent immediately knows what that gesture means.  When a tear forms in the corner of the eye and gently rolls down your friend's cheek, you know what you've said in anger was hurtful and an apology is in order.  But a tear forming in the corner of the eye means something entirely different when a bride looks lovingly at the man she's always dreamed of, standing directly across from her, holding her hand as she says, "I do."

Eyes are tired, eyes are itchy, eyes are old and eyes are wide opened.  Eyes show desire, anger, fear, shock, intensity, and disbelief.  Eyes reveal deep, dark secrets, and look away when the pain is too much.  The human eyes certainly seem to channel our inner emotions...even when we try hard to not let the world see...

Next time you wish to communicate a certain thought or feeling, see if you can communicate with just a look...I bet you'll discover that your eyes have it...that special ability to communicate...your own, unique window to your soul.

My Cultural Space

Everyone has a cultural space that defines and gives meaning to his or her identity.  My favorite cultural space is one that includes, home, music and family. 

My Identity as a Woman

Introduction

            Our identity—who we are and our perception of self, is formed

from many social and cultural influences, and over a period of time. 

Identities are created through communication, come in spurts, are multiple,

influenced by society, are dynamic, and develop differently in different

cultures (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, pgs. 92-97).  Because most people

feel a sense of belonging to various identities and groups, singling out one

main identity is difficult.  While different identities come into play during

different times and stages of a person’s life, most identities are linked

together—unable to be separately distinguished or defined without another. 

As a daughter, sister, wife, mother, student, Christian, musician, white,

female American, the identity that gives each of these identities a significant

meaning is the identity of being female—being a woman.  Each identity

serves a purpose and is equally as important, but without the identity

of woman, the qualities and defining characteristics within those identities

would be entirely different.  Therefore, the identity of woman is the most

defining, but not confining, identifier of me.

The Identity of Woman

           

How did you learn that having this identity was different from having

another identity? When you learned this, how did you feel? 

Besides from the obvious biological and physical gender differences
between a man and a woman, early on my mother and grandmothers
helped me learn what a woman should be from their loving, nurturing
Christian examples.  They were my role models, my heroes, my teachers,
and to me, the very definition of what a woman should be.

Their strength, their loving ways, their devotion to their husband and
children, their intuitive natures, dignity, beauty, and self-esteem did not
come solely from their roles within society, or cultural influences.  Their
true identity of being a woman was gained from their reverence for God. 
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears

the Lord will be greatly praised” (Proverbs 31:30, NLT).  My identity as a
woman may be different than other women’s identities because of my
Christian faith and Godly examples, but it is because of these influences
I consider all women valuable, uniquely special, beautiful, and equal in
God’s eyes and my own.

The Role of Woman

           

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having this identity for you

personally? How does this identity influence you in school or at work? 

As a woman, there are obvious societal and cultural advantages and
disadvantages, and some are more obvious than others!  For me, the
advantages of being a woman include being a mother.  There is no greater
pain that creates such joy in life!  The love I feel for my two children is
unlike any other form of love.  The sense of pride and admiration I have
for them as I witness their maturity touches my heart beyond measure! 

           

When Katie and T.J. were young, my husband and I decided that it
would be best for them if I did not work outside the home.  For almost
eight years, I was a stay-at-home mom. Now, the term “opt-out revolution”
is used to describe “a group of upper-middle class mothers with young
children who decided that long hours and devotion to career success were
not worth the sacrifices required of their children” (Giele, 2008). Though

we struggled financially, the time and love my husband and I invested in
our precious children’s lives was the best investment we ever made. 
Workplace policies are now more woman-friendly and family friendly,
men and women share more and more duties at home, much thanks to
feminists calling for a renewed sense of “gender justice” (Geile, 2008).
Had these changes in gender roles, and workplace policies taken place 20

years ago, I know I still would have postponed my career and current
college studies for the most rewarding “job” a woman can have—of being
a mother.

"At present, women constitute the majority of university students
around the world, and their participation in national economics is
correlated with economic growth (Giele, 2008). I find myself a part of that
majority as I complete my final semester of my junior year with Ottawa
University.  How coincidental that our daughter just finished her

junior year at college, and our son will finish his junior year at high
school this week.  As an adult woman college student, the challenges are
great.  Studies, responsibilities and interests are constantly vying for
my time.  My desire to earn my Communications degree, however, is
greater than my challenges.  I owe my determination to the many role
models in my life, and the support I need, I owe to my husband. The
encouragement I rely on, I owe to my children.

The Impact of Woman

           

How does your identity influence the way you communicate with people from

your own and other identities? 

As a woman, I’ve learned that the modern day opinion of what I should
look like, what I should wear, who I am, and who I want to become

communicated by today’s media should not be the yardstick by which
I measure myself. “Advertisements in magazines and commercials on
television tell us what it means, and how much it will cost, to be a beautiful
woman” (Martin & Nakayama, 2011, p. 96).  While I do want to be
attractive, and am conscientious of my physical appearance and overall
health, a woman’s beauty should not be defined by what is visible on the
outside. Communicating this sense of inner beauty to both genders is
important to me.  Living a life that reflects this confidence in being the
woman I am will hopefully encourage both men and women to redefine
the true beauty of woman.

           
Though the voice of women in today’s society has become stronger, with more

women entering vocations and offices traditionally held by men, “women
still are expected to place a high value on family roles and to commit
themselves to homemaking and caregiving” (Graham, Sorell &
Montgomery, n.d).  Society continues to communicate mixed messages
regarding the role of women. “The conflict within these current cultural
prescriptions for women has the potential to create role strain for women

who must juggle multiple personal identities constructed within contexts
of employment, partnership, and motherhood” (Graham, et al., n.d). A
woman’s impact in this world cannot be felt or her voice heard effectively
with such expectations, restrictions, or limitations of role choice unfairly
placed upon her gender.  For a woman to communicate effectively to
society, men, and other women in their life, she simply needs to communicate
herself—her own definition of woman.

Conclusion

“Identity refers to the conscious awareness of knowing who one is.  This
process of self-definition involves simultaneously maintaining the
continuity of one’s own character and some degree of ideological and
behavioral congruence with the ideals of the social group in which one lives”
(Graham, et al., n.d). While I have and value many identities that help me
know and understand who I am, the identity I consider to be the most continual,
the one from which my behaviors and emotions are shaped and molded,

and the one I strive to portray and communicate as best I can, is the
identity of woman.

           
My life has changed through the years, and so have my various roles and

identities. My husband has witnessed many of those changes—wife, mother,
stay-at-home mom, advertising executive, and college student.  Through it all,
he has learned there are challenges I will face that he will never have to. 
He has also learned that there are special qualities I possess that he will never
possess.  Those challenges, those special qualities, he now understands are
what make me who I am—not as a wife or mother, but as a woman. 
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the

future” (Proverbs 31:25, NLT).

References

Giele, J. (2008). Homemaker or Career Woman: Life Course Factors and Racial

Influences among Middle Class Americans. Journal of Comparative Family

Studies, 39(3), 393-411.

Graham, C. W., Sorell, G. T., & Montgomery, M. J. (n.d). Role-Related
Identity Structure in Adult Women. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Martin, J., & Nakayama, T. (2011). Experiencing intercultural
communication: An introduction. (4 ed.). New York, NY:
The McGraw-Hill Companies.

Proverbs 31; The Bible; New living translation. Bible Gateway.    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031:30&version=NLT