This past weekend, my pastor's message centered on Paul's good-byes to the elders in Ephesus who had become beloved friends. "Compelled by the Spirit" (Acts 20:22, NIV), Paul knew it was time to leave Ephesus and head for Jerusalem. He left the comfortable, the known and familiar for the uncomfortable, the unknown, and unfamiliar.
Being a weekend I served on the music team, I found myself more intent on playing keys with inspired passion rather than intentionally seeking to be inspired with George's passionate and spirit-filled words. I knew what his message was about--about saying tough good-byes--which has been an all too-familiar occurrence in my life. I hid behind the Kurzweil to avoid the tears, for I knew they would surely come once I was compelled by Spirit...I knew God wanted me to not only hear His words, but actively listen to what He wanted to tell me.
God, how is it you know what I need to hear and when I need to hear it?
In just seven weeks, I will be saying good-bye to my son (our youngest) as he leaves home--his comfortable, his known and familiar--for college. How can this be?? When did he lay down his favorite plush Veggie Tales characters to pick up a laptop? How is it he can read and write music better than I can? And that red, Amish-looking beard...When did THAT happen? My giggly, curly-headed, rambunctious, drink box-sipping 3-year old has turned into a 19-year old, 6' 3" witty, talented, tender-hearted man. August 14th will definitely be a tough but necessary good-bye. A necessary ending has to occur so that he can experience a necessary beginning.
Our almost 13-year old Siberian husky, Jenna, is nearing the end of her life. Everyday, I am blessed by her familiar, comforting fur as she nudges me for another walk outside, regardless of how difficult and shorter the walks have become. Her gentle disposition and striking blue eyes continue to greet me, but in my heart, I know her heart will one day give out....Each day, her necessary ending is becoming closer and closer. When that day comes, I know the tears will flow and my heart will ache as I say good-bye to her. Her necessary ending will leave a huge void, but perhaps one day, a new four-legged beginning will enter our lives.
We all have experienced tough good-byes. Whether it was leaving the only home you'd ever known, the death of a loved one or death of a relationship, or being fired from a job you really loved, each good-bye carries with it a tremendous grief, a broken heart, and memories which bring two-sided tears--tears of sadness for our loss, and tears of joy for the experience.
When saying good-bye to sin, to wrong decisions, to bad habits and wrong turns, we know that those necessary endings can lead to a better life and better beginnings. In my tough good-byes, I have learned through God's love and discipline that each ending was necessary for my growth as a Christian. He has taught me that it was through my tough and painful good-byes I grew stronger, more compassionate, and more mature in my Christian walk. Shouldn't that be our goal as Christians anyway? To grow and become more like Christ? To show love and compassion to others? To share His message of truth and salvation? We desire and strive to be on that proverbial mountaintop, but fail to remember that every climb to the top begins down in the valley! Our necessary endings in life can most certainly take us to unrelenting depths. But as Christians, we know that Christ's ultimate sacrifice- His necessary ending--had to occur in order for our glorious beginning in eternity!
As certain chapters come to a close and new ones are about to be opened, I know the good-byes will be tough, but I also know that the transition from old to new, from ending to a beginning, are necessary moments for me and for others. As Paul told his friends in Ephesus, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace" (Acts 20:24, NIV).
